December 24, 2010
I am starting this blog because I need to vent my feelings on the two girls I gave up for adoption. I have never blogged before so be patient and kind, please.
As of this December I have contact by phone with my oldest daughter,who I shall refer to as M, who is now 38. I was reunited with the second daughter, S, this month. I am so disappointed by both adoptions. The oldest was a closed adoption handled by a Catholic Social Services agency. The other was an open adoption handled by a so-called open adoption agency. Unfortunately both of my girls did not have the kind of life I envisioned for them when I chose to give them up for adoption. It is not that they had a bad life but that they both had feelings of rejection and abandonment and that I did not love them. This caused them to have attachment issues among other things.
In both cases I did things to try and make sure that my girls would know that I loved them and that I was trying to do the best thing for them. Unfortunately, either the agencies or the adoptive parents decided that they would circumvent what I did to the detriment of both of my daughters. This has made me question my decision to give them up for adoption. Or if adoption is the right option for any newborn child. This is not to say that abortion is any type of an option because I do not feel that it is. But maybe through this blog I can come to terms with how things turned out and maybe other women who are in similar situations can learn ways to protect the children they give up for adoption.
This is all for tonight. Next post I will start at the beginning with the first baby I had as a teenager.
